Dragging it out

From what I can tell, Argentines are repeat offenders. They draw out relationships that just aren’t working in an insane way. I think Americans tend to have the mentality that it’s black and white, all or nothing, that when you break up it’s for good and there are a lot more fish in the sea. Most Argentines don’t seem so sure. They like stability, and they like what they’re used to, the same way they’re not so sure about Indian food or sushi. My boyfriend’s best friend has been seeing a girl on and off for about four years..they stopped clicking and started fighting a couple years ago, and periodically break up, don’t find anyone else, miss each other, and give it another go. The same with his godson, who at the tender age of 21 has been with a girl for five years, and says that the first two years were fantastic but then he sort of lost interest. And yet, they’re still together. It’s not working, you could be SO much happier, so why do you keep doing this to yourself? I know of a couple who recently broke up (we’ll see if it lasts!) after eight years together. They’re both 22. Isn’t that ridiculously young to be together for such a long time?? But regardless, I wanted to applaud them for breaking up. Go out and see the world! Have some fun, play around! It’s really incredible, whereas in the U.S. guys that young would be serious, serious commitment-phobes, it’s almost the reverse here. Not that I’m in love with awkward, phobic, emotionally-stunted American guys either, but I think it’s sad  when you see a couple that doesn’t pay attention to each other, doesn’t smile or laugh or touch one another. The other day I was invited to go see my boyfriend play soccer and one of the other guy’s girlfriends came along too, so we sat in the stands together drinking mate. When her guy came off the field for a break, he didn’t come over to say hi, to chat, nothing, he just stood off to the side with the other guys. As far as I can tell, they didn’t even make eye contact, and later, when everyone was walking back to the cars, it was the same, the girl talking to other people and the guy ignoring her. When I mentioned it to my boyfriend, he said, “yeah, well, they’ve been together for four years, after four years it’s like that.” Upon which I informed him that if after four years it was like that with us, then we would break up. I know that relationships change after a long time together — obviously couples who have been married for a zillion years don’t have the same heat as a young couple in their honeymoon period — but still, I think (I hope) that that electric excitement gets replaced with a quiet intimacy and friendship and companionship, and I don’t really plan on being in a relationship where someone ignores me, no matter how long we’ve been together. Despite their occasional behavior to the contrary, there’s a saying here that an Argentine girl said to me just last night, while ranting about the dramatic antics of the guy she was involved with: “mejor sola que mal acompañada” (roughly, better to be alone than in bad company). It’s so true.

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