All I can do is dream about Argentina. I’m supposed to be enjoying my last month at home before moving abroad, spending quality time with family and friends because who knows when I’ll see them again, and living it up in the land of organization, dishwashers, and lattes. I know I will miss all of this, the people most of all, and the real sense of belonging. But right now I just want to be there, because I belong with H too. And I want to start the fabulous life that has been feeding my imagination for so long, even as an awareness of the many difficulties I’ll face lurks at the back of my mind.
I’m waiting in state of mixed-feelings limbo, hovering somewhere in between nostalgia for what I’ll say goodbye to and excitement for what’s to come. As much as I want to be a person who lives in the present, my present is too shaped by desires and experiences that are far away in space and time – or soon will be.
In other words, I’m feeling complicated, but I’m ok with that. Even so, there’s no way to chose between this:
Wherever I’ll go, I’ll always be missing someone. But I guess that means there’s a lot of love in my life, for which I am so grateful